leadinginworship

Prayer after Death During a Pandemic

Almighty God,
we come to you filled to the brim with sorrow
because our loved one, (name), has died.
We can hardly absorb this fact.
This time of quarantine and social distancing
has meant that not everyone was here
who wanted to be here.
We may have different feelings about
the care that was given
or was unable to be given in the hospital.
And now when we want to be together to grieve,
we can’t have a visitation,
and we have to delay a memorial service.
We need your holy presence with us,
connecting us, supporting us, giving us hope.
Thank you for (name), whose life was a gift.
Thank you for everything about them,
and the dear memories we have.
Thank you that they loved deeply,
and were deeply loved.
Thank you that they dwell in safety now,
in the joy and peace of heaven,
surrounded by loved ones who have gone before us.
Be with us in the coming weeks.
Help us as we reach out in virtual ways
to those who can support us
or who need support.
We are still worried about this virus,
and losing more family members and friends.
Preserve and protect us.
We trust that your Spirit is the Great Comforter,
with solace enough for all the world’s sorrows.
Be with us now. 
In Jesus’s name we pray, Amen.

Prayer for the Critically Ill in a Pandemic (when you can't be physically there)

God of infinite care,
how we long for your presence in this heavy time.
Our loved one, (name), is so sick, they may be dying;
we know they are suffering,
and we cannot be at their bedside to hold their hand.
Like so many other family members
who are separated from the sick through travel restrictions,
or levels of quarantine,
our hearts are torn open with grief and anguish.
We need your presence at that bed,
we want them to rally, we want them to get better!
Heal them, Lord!
Bless the nurses and the doctors who are caring for them.
We know that health care is so stretched right now,
give hospital staff the strength to have compassionate hands
and kind voices as they care for (name);
provide the resources and supplies they need.
Dear God, even as we pray for renewed health,
we know that this might not happen,
and so, if this is the end of (name)’s earthly life,
grant them peace.
We trust that you will speak the words to their heart
which we long to say,
words of love, of gratitude, words of blessing.
If this is the time of their ending,
let them pass in safety through the gates of death,
to live forever with you and all the angels in heaven.
Jesus, be their guide, whatever happens.
We trust in the power of your resurrection,
and that we will meet together in your kingdom,
where there will be no sorrow, or crying, or tears.
Hold us together through the power of your infinite mercy.
And now we pray, as you taught us to pray,
“Our Father….  “

Last Christmas

To all of us comes a last Christmas.
The cycle of the year, so familiar and dear,
stops cycling for us, but not for those around us.
Some have no idea the end is near,
others look at the calendar,
and know they will not be turning more pages.
And so they enter this season with different eyes.

A last chance to put up Christmas decorations,
enjoying the memories that come with each ornament.
A last chance to taste those specific cookies,
eaten in childhood, made by someone who themselves
are now just a memory.
A last chance to hear the round of familiar songs,
each one a gem, so precious and clear.
A last chance to gather with loved ones
and speak ordinary words with special meaning,
knowing this is the last time.
A last chance to hear the Christmas story,
wondering about the meaning of a Saviour
in human form, whose name was “God with us.”

God with us, be near us now.
Help us to be present and alive,
even if pain is our constant companion.
Teach us how to savour
without bitterness and regret.
Surround us with love and loved ones,
with moments of laughter and peace.
Grow in us a brilliant sense of the beauty of life,
that sparkles so bright, so bright, in this dark time.
Show us how to let go
when we have spent our whole life hanging on.
We don’t know how to do this.
Like the shepherds falling down,
we have moments where we know fear in our very marrow.

Send us angels who lift us up,
who give us words that make our hearts sing.
These words of promise push us forward,
stumbling toward Bethlehem,
heading toward the light of a stable
and a baby whose face
we have lived our whole life to see.
Emmanuel, God with us, at last.

 

Suicide: Five Prayers from Those Left Behind

1.  Dear God,
this grief for our loved one has hit us like a truck.
Our lives have not been the same since we heard.
You know the exact weight of our heavy hearts,
you know the volume of tears we shed,
you know the temperature of the places inside of us
that are frozen and numb.
Thank you God that you were with us before we knew this news,
and that you are journeying with us now.

2. God of our minds,
you know the thoughts that knock about our brains.
The “hows” of this death are like an elephant
that wants to get out, but doesn’t know how.
The “whys” of this death dart around at random,
pointing at this target and that target,
never finding a home.
And the “if onlys” haunt our very steps,
as we go over the past again and again.
God of peace, still our racing minds,
calm our raging hearts,
and hold us in your loving arms.

3. God of creation,
thank you for creating our loved one.
You were with them in their mother’s womb,
and you rejoiced in their uniqueness.
You walked with them as a child and as an adult.
You know the special quality they brought to our lives;
their kindness, the love they showed,
the sound of their voice,
their sense of humour, their laugh.
You knew their good times and their troubled times,
you heard their sighs.
And on that last of bad days,
when they could not see the hope of good days ahead,
you were there in that final decision-making moment.
Why didn’t you intervene?
Even as we live with this question,
we trust that your welcoming arms
embraced them and took them home
to a place where they are  at peace.
God of hope,
our dearly departed ones are in your care.
As we come into your presence,
give us the assurance that in some mysterious way
through you, they are with us still.

4.  God, we come to you with questions.
Why are some people given a sunny personality,
and others given clouds and stormy weather?
Why do some people always see the positives,
and for others every day is a struggle to survive?
Some have minds that toss them to and fro;
they must cope with dizzying ups and downs.
You know the order and disorder of our minds,
our rationality and irrationality.
Why is life so hard?
Why is existence a burden
too heavy for some to carry?
We cry out to you about the unfairness of life,
we cry out to you about the searing pain of absence,
we cry out to you from this world of pain.
Lord, hear our prayer.

5.  God of healing,
we need your help.
The wounds we carry seem unhealable.
We don’t know which way to turn with our pain.
Give us hope, even when despair is knocking down the door.
Give us faith, that peace can come to us in time.
Give us love, to care for each other on this journey.
Help us hold onto the happy memories of our loved one,
remembering the gift they were in our lives,
and the joy we shared in the time we had.
We trust you as the shepherd of the sheep,
who carries every lost lamb close to your heart.
You carry our loved one,
and each of us, now and forever.  Amen.

Last Good-bye: Prayer for those Choosing MAID*

Eternal and ever-loving God,
we are gathered here in your presence, in this last hour of (name)’s life.
We give you thanks for the gift they are to the world.
You were there when (name) took their first breath,
you have been walking with them their whole life long.
In the good times, in the bad times, in the joy and in the sorrow,
and now here in this final hour, you are with us.
As we gather together in this goodbye time, we say prayers of thankfulness
for all that we have appreciated about (name):
            [open prayers]
Thank you for love that binds us together, and binds us to you.
Thank you that you will never let us go. 
As (name) takes this final step towards you,
we give them into your hands.
Grant them peace, eternal peace,
and may light everlasting greet them as they step towards you.
We pray this in the name of Jesus Christ, our Saviour,
who stands at the door, waiting,
ready to welcome us home.
Amen.

*Medical Assistance in Dying

Prayer for those Choosing MAID*

Jesus, Saviour, we gather here knowing that you are with us,
God our Creator, thank you for giving us life on this earth. 
We gather here around (name),
so thankful for their special particular life.
You created them in their mother’s womb,
you saw them take their first breath,
your love has surrounded them every single day of their lives.
You’ve been with them through hardship and joy,
through sickness and health, through times of plenty and times of want.
You know that they love deeply, and are deeply loved.
And now this beautiful earthly life,
with all its experiences and relationships is coming to an end.
Saying good-bye is breaking our hearts!
We trust that you will give (name) courage as they take this step,
and you will give those gathered round strength to support.
Holy Spirit, fill all of us here with your peace
for we know nothing can separate us from your love.
Thank you that death is a door,
and that you are the mystery behind it.
We trust that you will walk with (name) through the threshold of death,
and welcome them into your eternal peace.
And now we pray together the prayer that you taught us to pray:
          Our Father…. [the Lord's Prayer] [omit this part if people gathered don't know it]
And now, (name), may God bless you and keep you,
may the very face of God shine upon,
may the Spirit of God embrace you, and give you peace,
eternal peace.
Amen.

*Medical Assistance in Dying

Learning to Die Prayer

Thank you for the gift of time,
unwrapped at birth and lived moment by moment
each and every day of our mortal lives.
We pray today for those who find time too heavy;
their suffering burdens them as they face death.
Choices need to be made about end of life care,
and the possibility of Medical Assistance in Dying.
We need courage on every level.
Courage to live, and courage to die.
Courage to speak the truth we carry
and courage to listen.
Courage to hang on to life,
and courage to let it go.
We are lifelong learners
in the school of living,
and at the end we have one last task.
We must learn to die.
Jesus, you know the way in these end times,
take our hands and lead us.

God Our Shepherd Prayer for the Dying

God our Shepherd,
you know the valleys we walk through,
the twisted roads of pain and suffering.
We want to fear no evil, we know that you are with us.
Today there are people in our congregations wrestling
with Medical Assistance in Dying;
considering it from every conceivable angle.
We need your assistance.
Assist us in important and sometimes difficult conversations
with dying people and those who love them,
and all of their many professional caregivers.
Help us walk with those who wait for death
and those who choose to step towards it.
Open our hearts to stories as we juggle
our principles, our reasoning and our emotions,
our reading of scripture and our medical knowledge,
trying to find practices we can live with and die with.
Holy Wisdom, can you lead us in ways that lead to life
even in the valley of the shadow of death?
When we don’t know the way, we turn to you,
longing for goodness and mercy in the congregation,
now and in our final hours.

Prayer to a Faithful God (in Hard Times)

Your mercies are new every day.
When I could hardly catch my breath,
fear clenching my stomach,
and every horizon dark,
you were there for me.
Whether I stood on the precipice
of grief, or pain, or loneliness or despair:
you heard me calling.
My prayers not echoing
in empty chambers,
not ricocheting into nothingness;
you listened to every word.
You come, not always with quick fixes,
not always with the solutions I’ve planned.
You teach me that every road is walkable
with you beside me.
Your steadying voice gentles me.
You are the faithful One,
from generation to generation,
seeking out our sad souls,
picking up the lost and left behind,
taking care of the woeful.
God of great grace,
hear this prayer of thanks
even from the land of broken dreams.

Going Home for Christmas: A Prayer for the Dying [for Mimi]

Immanuel,
thank you that you are God with us
even in our final good-byes.
Thank you for the ebbing of life,
which is as holy as its birth,
even with all the indignities
that infirmities bring.
Thank you for loved ones gathered,
for memories shared and savoured,
and for quiet vigils,
sweeter than all words,
where all we do is breathe.

And at the stillest moment of all,
as we slip from time and space,
you catch us,
gathering up all of who we are,
our great loves and sorrows,
our deep hopes and dreams.
You move with us from a present
that was always a gift
into a future as mysterious
and as lovely
as the first star
of morning.

Joy to the World

Joy may be like a fountain,
but it has no on/off switch.
We can’t manufacture joy
or produce it on demand.
Running after joy is
like running after the wind;
you can’t catch it.
Joy is wild and treasured,
like a rare shy bird
that suddenly appears.
It can be fleeting,
or its presence can rest with you,
like a benediction,
for days and months.
It shows up in the strangest places,
and just as quickly disappears.
The moment you try to hold it,
it flees away.
I held the hand of a dying man
all morning
and spent the afternoon
visiting a newborn baby.
Holding that little one’s hand,
my tears kept coming and coming.
Was that joy, or something like it?
In our Good Friday world,
where death is our constant companion,
God holds out a hand
with surprisingly little fingers.
God with us.

A prayer for those contemplating suicide

For each of your beloved children
who this night are poised to take their own life,
we pray this prayer.
For those plagued by despair,
for those haunted by hopelessness,
for those immersed in mind-numbing pain,
for those confused by bewildering delusions,
for those mired in violent memories,
for those pushed to the edge by grief,
for those bullied because of their sexuality,
for those overwhelmed by stress or financial pressures,
for those caught fast in chains of addiction,
for those feeling unwanted and unloved,
for those who can love everyone but themselves,
for those who feel that the world would be better off without them,
Creator of us all, hear our prayer.
Send your rainbow of hope
arching over these dark moments.
Red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, violet;
thousands of angels of every hue
surrounding and supporting each dear one
tenderly, lovingly,
away from the brink.
Your presence a bridge to one more day.

Responsive Winter Solstice Prayer (for the northern hemisphere)

God of Creation:
the winter solstice sun is low,
crouched over the southern horizon.
All day long shadows pivot and turn
pointing to a longer night, the longest night.
And so we pray,
Lord, we are longing for light!

Our community has touched
the darkness of death this week,
as we said good-bye to our dear friend ___________.
Thank you that we who dwell in darkness
have seen a great light in our Saviour Jesus Christ.
He welcomes us in death to an eternal resurrection
to dwell with you in glorious light
with all the saints in heaven.
And so we pray,
Lord, we are longing for light!

Comfort the family of _____________,
and our whole community as we grieve her passing.
Help us carry the heaviness of grief together.
We pray for all who lonely, and those who are sick,
especially those in the hospital:  ______________.
We pray for all who are burdened in this dark season
with dark thoughts and melancholy moods.
And so we pray:
Lord, we are longing for light!

Thank you for places we see light.
For every act of kindness, no matter how small.
For hungry people being fed at the foodbanks in our city.
For the many people who helped to provide affordable homes this week
through the work of Habitat for Humanity.
For all who donate their time and money to help those less fortunate.
We know that the world needs more light like this!
And so we pray:
Lord, we are longing for light!

On this fulcrum day
where the earth swings its way back towards the sun,
we give thanks for Jesus Christ,
who came as Light into the World,
illuminating our way.
And so we pray:
Lord we are longing for light!
In every way, every day,
help us to walk in your light! Amen.

[If there is room in your bulletin, you can print this out,
or if you are reading this now on a Saturday before you lead worship,
you could instruct the congregation,
“When you hear, ‘And so we pray’,
please respond with ‘Lord, we are longing for light!’”
Have them practice this once before the prayer.
Then as leader you would say the last two lines.]

 

The Quietest of Hopes

Every journey ends,
and this prayer is for our friends
who know their lives are waning.
Friend of the dark garden,
you know the regrets,
the reluctance, the gloomy fears
that shake our very souls.
Anxiety about our bodies’ demise
consumes us,
Thank you that even
as we feel most desolate,
your comfort finds us.
We do not kneel alone.
Your deep love wells in parched hearts,
flooding us with simple beauty
at unexpected moments.
You send us angels,
disguised and undisguised;
courage blossoms in the night.
Thank you for bands of companions
whose prayers sustain us.
We pray for those who hover in the tension
of a life that is both
unbearably sweet
and sheddable.
At the end,
let our fingers be petals,
letting go, bit by bit,
our mortal life.
Our empty hands blooming;
open, ready,
trembling with
the quietest of hopes.
Come Lord Jesus.

The Wrong Good-bye

This is the wrong good-bye.

At thirty, death stands on the threshold

ghoulish as an x-ray

staring straight through all our hopes and plans.

We will not welcome this grim usher

who comes before the play’s half-done.

 

Against the injustice,

against the desperation,

against the running out of time,

against the fear of my body’s demise,

against all these,

Love stands.

We crave your presence, Lord,

even in the wrong good-bye.

The Sweet Good-bye

At the last, let it be a sweet good-bye.

All business finished.

All affairs tidied.

All loose ends attended.

All regrets squared away.

All loved ones gathered.

All words of love spoken.

All life lived fully.

One last look,

one last squeeze of the hand,

one last deep breath,

one last sweet good-bye

and a final eager step towards Jesus.

Waiting in the Waiting Room

A loved one’s heart attack is like a closed door;

he is on that side and we are on this side.

The door opens with the sudden collapse.

Ambulance attendants act as ushers.

Now we are in the waiting room waiting

and he is on the other side of the door

in ICU having a heart attack.

 

The waiting room is suspended in time

every minute stretching out and back

“we were just eating dinner…”

“he was just telling us about work…”

every minute stretching out and forward

“when will we hear something?”

“what’s happening now?”

every person jumping when someone walks by

“It’s just the janitor.”

“It’s just the people from the lab.”

every quiet moment a prayer

“Let him be all right.”

“Let him get better.”

 

The nurse enters with hopeful words,

“You can see him now.”

One by one we go through the big steel door,

shocked by the morass of tubes and wires

mentally peeling off the breathing tube, the IVs

to uncover the one we love.

A quick glimpse and back to the waiting room.

 

Time passes and the doctor enters.

He has a sober look on his face.

Cushioning words--     “I’m sorry to tell you this…”

another closed door--    “he’s had another heart attack.”

that will not open-- “and we lost him.”

ever   “I’m sorry.”

 

Waiting in the waiting room

as we gasp for breath

as we clasp each other for dear life

staggering with loss, wild with grief.

Tears flow.  Hands hold heads

as we catch our careening minds

and anchor them to the new reality

of a closed and locked door.

He is on that side and we are on this side.

 

God of closed doors,

God of what is on this side

and what is on the other side,

be with us as we wait

for our turn through the door

in a world that has become a waiting room. 

A God who Grieves

When I am beside myself with grief--

Jesus, you are there beside me.

When my mind reels and I feel like I’m falling—

Jesus, you are the fixed point that does not move.

When grief’s bands tighten around my chest—

Jesus, you are the oxygen I breathe.

When the ache in my heart is the only thing I feel—

Jesus, save me.

You who wept with sorrow and with fear,

thank you for staying with me in this hour,

this hour of grief.

God at the Last

At the last kiss,

at the final true laugh,

at the bottom of the body’s decline,

at the mind’s last conscious thought,

at the moment when love vanishes,

at the end of all remembering,

be the God at the last.

Be the God of wrinkled bodies and stooped shoulders,

the God of vacant eyes and open mouths,

the God of incontinence and shaking.

Be the God who holds the hand,

the God who soothes the brow,

the God who whispers words of comfort

and the God who hums a lullaby

until the last sleep falls.

Final Prayer

Eternal God, lover of us all

stay close to my side.

When death stares me in the face,

back me up.

When sickness diminishes my powers

and I become someone I don’t recognize,

know me through and through.

When my fears consume me

be a steady centre.

O God of ages,

be with me in my old age.

As you knit me together in my mother’s womb,

watch tenderly over this unravelling.

My self, loosed from independent living,

loosed from mobility,

loosed from date and time,

loosed from rational thought,

loosed even from identity.

Take me as I am. 

Everything I have been,

everything I might have been,

this body’s mystery

wrapped in your presence.

A single strong cord of love.