leadinginworship

Committal Service after a Death During a Pandemic

Dearly beloved:
We are gathered here today in the sight of God,
under this spring sky, to lay (name) to rest.
For everything there is a season,
and a time for every purpose under heaven.
There’s a time to be born and a time to die;
a time to plant and a time to pick up what is planted,
a time to laugh and a time to weep.
Today is a time to say good-bye.
We are sorry that there are so few of us here in this important, holy moment,
but in this time of quarantine and social distancing,
we are all called to be mindful of health and safety.
We know that many are here with us in spirit.
Let’s pray together:
Almighty and ever-loving God,
In this moment of deep grief,
we come with questions;
asking why---why this had to happen?
asking how--how we can get though it?
We turn to you.
Thank you for being with us in this time of sorrow.
You knew (name) through and through,
you loved them from the moment they were conceived.
You were with them on the day of their birth,
and on the day of their death.
You gave them a good life, a wonderful family;
they loved deeply and were deeply loved.
You walked with them in good times and hard times.
We believe that today (name) is happy and blessed
surrounded by your love,
reunited with loved ones who have gone before.
Be with us in our tears, in our aching hearts,
in the smiles that memories bring
as we grieve and remember (name).
You who have conquered the mystery of death,
be with us now,  Amen.

This is a time of wondering
where we stand poised between life and death.
We wonder how this could have happened,
and we wonder how we can survive it.
It’s a time to think about a life, (name)’s life.
We give thanks for all they meant to us as
(husband/wife/father/mother,brother/sister/friend).
They were a gift from God to us,
and we are so thankful for their presence in our lives.
We have so many beautiful memories which we can treasure,
which will be a source of comfort for us.
While (name)’s earthly life has come to an end too soon,
their life with God has entered a new richness;
they have been embraced by God in a fuller way.
They now know more completely than any of us
what salvation means,
and how Jesus rescues us from death,
into the peace of God’s marvellous light.

We pause here at this graveside and think about the earth.
The earth is good, God created it.
We lay (name)’s body to rest in the gentle earth;
of dust we are made; and to dust we shall return.
Hear the words from Ephesians 3:
We pray that you may have the power to comprehend, with all the saints,
what is the breadth and length and height and depth
and to know the love of Christ that surpasses knowledge,
so that you may be filled with all the fullness of God.

Seeing that the earthly life of our (brother/sister/friend), (name), has come to an end,
we commit their body to be buried, earth to earth, ashes to ashes, dust to dust,
confident of the resurrection to eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
(Name), may God bless you and keep you;
May the very face of God shine upon you, and be gracious to you,
May God’s presence embrace you and give you eternal peace.  Amen
 
Let’s pray together.
Dear God: grant us the peace that we need as we face this parting. 
May this peace that passes understanding
fill the hearts and minds of (names of those present),
and the whole extended family, who are grieving in their own homes.
Sustain us all in the days and weeks and months to come.
God in heaven, you are the author of time,
and we give (name) into your loving care for all of eternity.
We pray this in the name of our Saviour Jesus Christ, Amen

Prayer after Death During a Pandemic

Almighty God,
we come to you filled to the brim with sorrow
because our loved one, (name), has died.
We can hardly absorb this fact.
This time of quarantine and social distancing
has meant that not everyone was here
who wanted to be here.
We may have different feelings about
the care that was given
or was unable to be given in the hospital.
And now when we want to be together to grieve,
we can’t have a visitation,
and we have to delay a memorial service.
We need your holy presence with us,
connecting us, supporting us, giving us hope.
Thank you for (name), whose life was a gift.
Thank you for everything about them,
and the dear memories we have.
Thank you that they loved deeply,
and were deeply loved.
Thank you that they dwell in safety now,
in the joy and peace of heaven,
surrounded by loved ones who have gone before us.
Be with us in the coming weeks.
Help us as we reach out in virtual ways
to those who can support us
or who need support.
We are still worried about this virus,
and losing more family members and friends.
Preserve and protect us.
We trust that your Spirit is the Great Comforter,
with solace enough for all the world’s sorrows.
Be with us now. 
In Jesus’s name we pray, Amen.

Suicide: Five Prayers from Those Left Behind

1.  Dear God,
this grief for our loved one has hit us like a truck.
Our lives have not been the same since we heard.
You know the exact weight of our heavy hearts,
you know the volume of tears we shed,
you know the temperature of the places inside of us
that are frozen and numb.
Thank you God that you were with us before we knew this news,
and that you are journeying with us now.

2. God of our minds,
you know the thoughts that knock about our brains.
The “hows” of this death are like an elephant
that wants to get out, but doesn’t know how.
The “whys” of this death dart around at random,
pointing at this target and that target,
never finding a home.
And the “if onlys” haunt our very steps,
as we go over the past again and again.
God of peace, still our racing minds,
calm our raging hearts,
and hold us in your loving arms.

3. God of creation,
thank you for creating our loved one.
You were with them in their mother’s womb,
and you rejoiced in their uniqueness.
You walked with them as a child and as an adult.
You know the special quality they brought to our lives;
their kindness, the love they showed,
the sound of their voice,
their sense of humour, their laugh.
You knew their good times and their troubled times,
you heard their sighs.
And on that last of bad days,
when they could not see the hope of good days ahead,
you were there in that final decision-making moment.
Why didn’t you intervene?
Even as we live with this question,
we trust that your welcoming arms
embraced them and took them home
to a place where they are  at peace.
God of hope,
our dearly departed ones are in your care.
As we come into your presence,
give us the assurance that in some mysterious way
through you, they are with us still.

4.  God, we come to you with questions.
Why are some people given a sunny personality,
and others given clouds and stormy weather?
Why do some people always see the positives,
and for others every day is a struggle to survive?
Some have minds that toss them to and fro;
they must cope with dizzying ups and downs.
You know the order and disorder of our minds,
our rationality and irrationality.
Why is life so hard?
Why is existence a burden
too heavy for some to carry?
We cry out to you about the unfairness of life,
we cry out to you about the searing pain of absence,
we cry out to you from this world of pain.
Lord, hear our prayer.

5.  God of healing,
we need your help.
The wounds we carry seem unhealable.
We don’t know which way to turn with our pain.
Give us hope, even when despair is knocking down the door.
Give us faith, that peace can come to us in time.
Give us love, to care for each other on this journey.
Help us hold onto the happy memories of our loved one,
remembering the gift they were in our lives,
and the joy we shared in the time we had.
We trust you as the shepherd of the sheep,
who carries every lost lamb close to your heart.
You carry our loved one,
and each of us, now and forever.  Amen.

After the Funeral

The tears are shed
and the words are spoken
and the body, blessed,
is laid under six feet of cold ground.
We walk away reeling, at least inside,
holding each other together
all the way to the church auditorium
where we collapse
in front of tables filled with food.
I remember raisin bread, cheese, pickles.
Or was it ham sandwiches and squares?
No matter.
We have buried someone. 
We have to eat.
We have to eat together.

We might only nibble,
but we hold the bread for dear life,
we clutch the cups.
We turn to each other,
we laugh, we cry some more,
we listen to stories.
And just as the valley of the chasm of loss
wants to swallow us up,
this sweet and savoury meal
improbably sustains us,
pulling us from the darkness of grief,
like a resurrection from the dead.

Going Home for Christmas: A Prayer for the Dying [for Mimi]

Immanuel,
thank you that you are God with us
even in our final good-byes.
Thank you for the ebbing of life,
which is as holy as its birth,
even with all the indignities
that infirmities bring.
Thank you for loved ones gathered,
for memories shared and savoured,
and for quiet vigils,
sweeter than all words,
where all we do is breathe.

And at the stillest moment of all,
as we slip from time and space,
you catch us,
gathering up all of who we are,
our great loves and sorrows,
our deep hopes and dreams.
You move with us from a present
that was always a gift
into a future as mysterious
and as lovely
as the first star
of morning.

Good Friday Service: A Funeral for Jesus

NOTE:  In this service, we put ourselves into the shoes of Jesus’ family and closest friends as they mourned his death.  They did not have a funeral for Jesus, but they saw his body and knew that he died.  In our culture, we have a funeral for people who have died, when we perform that ritual, it is clear that someone has passed away.  Having a service that is funeral-like  on Good Friday can hammer home to us in a very deep, visceral way that Jesus really died.  Most people have been to many Good Friday services where it is explained that Jesus died for our sins.  That is an important message, but  not one that this service talks about.   This service doesn’t talk about that since we are putting ourselves into the shoes of the disciples and Jesus’ family; just after he died they were in a time of shock, of wondering and not understanding. 

It is probably helpful to give this explanation to attendees, so that they are not confused about what is happening.  Perhaps even explaining the service the week before, but there may be visitors, so handing out a note with an explanation may be helpful.

 

For this service it’s important that the feel of a funeral be cultivated.

If you have a prelude at a funeral with special funeral-like music, do that now.

If there is a book to sign at a funeral, do that now.

If you use special bulletins at funerals, put the order of service in that type of bulletin.

If you have ushers giving out bulletins at a funeral, do that now.

If the minister walks solemnly into the service during a funeral with the congregation standing, do that now.

If you have special flowers on the sanctuary table for a funeral, do that now.

It’s important that songs sung in this service are “funeral-like” songs, not songs that explain the whole salvation story, since that is not a story that the disciples would have known on this day.

Try to find participants to do the tributes who can say their parts with conviction and emotion…not just reading.  Think of how people who do tributes at funerals present their stories, and try to do that yourself.

 Welcome & Opening Prayer    

 Dearly beloved, friends of Jesus,
we gather together in the sight of God,
filled with sorrow and grief.
Our friend Jesus has suffered and he has died,
and his earthly body has been laid to rest.
This is a tender time,
we have come to grieve and to comfort one another in our sorrow,
and to draw on God’s love and power.
We have come to remember all that Jesus said to us,
and to take comfort in the shelter of the almighty God.